Chair and Sofa Pads – AKA, Incontinence Is Not For The Faint Of Heart

One of my dear friends just called me. I picked up the phone and greeted her with my customary ‘Hey, Nancie!’ – what came back was the following panicked voice saying:

“Lori! Quick! How do I clean up urine from a chair? Lori: how did you DO this?!!”

Immediately, I knew that my darling friend, the one I’ve looked up to for many years in a business environment, the woman who ‘has it all together’, my beautiful blond haired, blue eyed weigh-nothing friend had officially lost it. After all, if she’s calling me for advice, she’s lost it.

But, dear readers, only momentarily. I also knew that she was following in my caregiving shoes as her own darling Mom had fallen and couldn’t get up just a few weeks ago. She’s in rehab now and Nancie is by her side frequently overlooking the rehab sessions, settling her Mom into what I call the ‘New Normal.’  I well remember those days after Mom broke her hip when a ‘good’ day was her not grimacing in pain. Sorry, I’ve digressed….

For those of you who are not caregivers or don’t have our sense of humor (which, albeit, is not always politically correct) you will certainly not understand my response which was ‘MAWHAHAHHA.’ No, I’m pretty sure you’ll think I’m crass (I am), rude (I am), stepping out of line (perhaps), not sympathetic – ah, I’ve got you on that last one. I am sympathetic to any plight of any caregiver around the world. From one who’s “been there, done that” (clean up pee, I mean – not peed on the sofa….well, maybe just a little when I sneezed….), I certainly empathize with dear Nancie’s current situation.

So, after I collected myself, I ran though the things we used during Mom’s bouts of incontinence. Luckily for me, until Mom was bedridden the last 3 weeks of her life, this probably was on the back burner – mostly.

So, I suggest Oxiclean first and then any pet urine cleaner from her local PetSmart store. Dab up what you can, apply cleaner, let soak in 5-10 minutes and use fresh towels to dry it as much as possible. Spraying with a dilute solution of white vinegar and water can help with any residual smell.

And, that’s how this unexpected post on my website came to be. And, that’s where it will remain.

Here’s a few decent urine cleaners on Amazon.com to have on hand if you’re a caregiver of any fashion – child, dog, human – after all, pee is pee….

OK, now I’m really LOL – I went to Amazon to look for items to ‘clean urine.’ That query isn’t going to do it for you folks – it brings up all kinds of product proposed to rid your urine, mostly of illegal drugs. MAWHAHAHAHAH….

 Nature’s Miracle Urine Destroyer Formula, 32-Ounce Pour BottleCheck Price ** #1 Pet Odor Eliminator ** Urine Remover – CRI Certified Enzyme Cleaner For Old & New Stains – FCheck Price Totally Toddler Stain Remover -24 fl ozCheck Price Magic-Zymes All Natural Odor Remover 32oz Spray BottleCheck Price (Nancie: This one is for you – Loved the name) Anti Icky Poo Odor Remover (1) Quart with SprayerCheck Price

Now, what I also did was invest in a small carpet cleaner – the Little Green Machine can also be used on upholstery or anywhere that urine may appear (and, trust me, it ends up in some pretty interesting places…).

 BISSELL SpotClean Anywhere Portable Carpet Cleaner, 97491Check Price BISSELL 2X Deep Clean & Protect Full Size Machine Formula, 60 ounces, 62E5ACheck Price

And, finally, to hopefully make the next incident easier to clean up (leaving you more time for cocktails – which you will need), here’s some highly recommended chair and sofa pads. These pads soak up anything spilled on them and blend right into the couch or sofa so they’re not embarrassing to those in need. I really like the first link to protect kitchen chairs:

 Ability Superstore Quilted Top Chair Pads TartanCheck Price Americare Waterproof Velour Seat Protector 22Check Price Conni Large Chair Pad, Tartan, 20 Inch x 24 InchCheck Price